Thank God I Failed

Otherwise, I would never have known that life is this much beautiful!

 

Teenage, An age where everyone faces some problem due to sudden change in life. Everyone . I was no different. These changes make us aggressive and we try to hurt ourselves and start blaming or criticizing everything. We become more serious in life and that seriousness got me a story. So let me tell you what happened with me ..

I was never that kind of kid who likes to bully someone or to blame others. I used to keep all the things to me and I still do the same. I don't like to share anything with anyone. Of course people are always there to help me if i ask them to help, but I ignored them as always. My parents were always there for me, but my father made me into a person who can not get attached easily to anyone . So I didn't want to bother them.  I believed in living in our own life and deal everything yourself, why take our problems to other people! .

Somewhat good and bad thing of my life was I was good at studies.  Of course, my brother Ayush was much more intelligent than me and his percentages were constant, always 99 doesn't matter which class it was. I was the one with varying percentages, varying from 87-93. So there was comparison and competitive environment at my home. Our parents never compared us but neighbors,of course, never missed a chance. Parents knew our interests and they knew very well how to raise a child and it was the one good thing that they never compared.

Now I should take you to the point about how things started. I got selected for an exchange programme in 12th class. It was Jenesys ( Japan East-Asia Network for Exchange of Students and Youth). I got a chance to visit Japan under that programme. Approximately 200 students across pan India were selected. From my state, 15 students were selected.  I returned from there after 15 days  on 2nd of December in 2011.

Here one more person comes into the story, like in every students' life, I also had one Sharma ji, but I'll call him Uncle K. Uncle K was my father's friend and was an owner of a big cyber cafe. He was very good and polite person. We never paid whenever we used to visit his cyber cafe.

I was quite famous in the city after got selected for Exchange program. I went to Japan under that program. I still remember a classmate of mine, mandeep,  who came to drop me on railway station. When I returned, my parents were happy and friends too.

There were some changes in me now. From my parents point of view, I was studying less and uncle K also said the same thing. I heard my parents only and I knew how much I had studied for my exams because half yearly exams were just one week after I returned. I told my parents that I have completed my syllabus and there is nothing to worry. It was 12th board so they were also expecting something good from my side. I was working accordingly. I had my target in my mind. I never told anyone that.

One day I was in cyber cafe of uncle K, before my half yearly exam. After studying for a long time I went there after two or three days of returning from Japan. That day uncle K asked me, in a taunting way, how much I'm expecting to get in boards of 12th. He taunted so I replied in same manner. I said 'exactly 88%. Neither a more mark nor a less mark.' He said 'just 88%? Is it what you can do?' I said 'yes, exactly 88%.' May be he didn't like how I replied but yes I was hurt. Because many of my friends had taunted me and many of other people.

Being somewhat introvert and due to some other reasons I was in depression. I never revealed my feelings to anyone and now there were a lot them and I was unable to handle them. I thought of what most of teenager think during depression. Suicide. I tried it.

Yes I did :p . I took 12-13 tablets of disprin, I used to have those in my bag because I had headache problem those days. After taking tablets I went for a very long sleep. I, before sleeping, ( after taking the tablets, may be because I couldn't go back then), I wrote a note in my phone, unlocked my phone and kept it near my pillow so that my parents could easily found that.

It was 15 December as i remember now. I slept  at 2 P. M.  approximately. My family was upstairs. I slept in the bedroom, with no plans whatsoever, of waking up again. What happened at 5 PM I got a call from a girl of my class, santosh. My father pick that call. She asked to talk to me. Papa woke me up and asked that some girl santosh is calling and asking for you. I was surprised, how am I alive ? I talked to her but I was wondering, how that was possible ? I locked my phone immediately and started studying again.

That was the time I failed. And I'm happy I failed. Because later, I got so many chances of being successful than people like uncle K. Just waiting for a good day to reply to people like uncle K. Wo kahtey hai na, har kutte Ka din aata hai, mera bhi aayega!