The Unanswered Question : It Hurts

We all have some ideal people in our life. In school, most of us have our school teachers as our idols, later some friend, someone in the family, someone in the neighborhood, some social worker, some movie star or some sports person. As we get older these perfect people sometimes fade away. While getting older, we start understanding how this world works, and if you come to know the reality and mentality of the people behind everything, then this place will never be the same for you as it was before.

I was the fourth grandchild in my maternal family. The last one was born 6 years before I was. So that's why I was the most pampered one. My mom once told me that my Mama-Ji (her brother, my maternal uncle) bought me more than 20 dresses before I turned two. My uncle (younger brother of my father) bought me a pair of jeans. We used to live in a village at that time and I was the first kid to own a pair of jeans :P. 

Time flies. I became older. I passed senior secondary school with good marks and got admission in a good college. Elder people in the family were also getting older. The only thing I hate about them is that they are getting old. That is why I love and I prefer to spend my time with older people in the family because despite having all the valuable experience they have no one to share.

My mother's eldest brother, Kesrichand Sharma (Mama-Ji), was the first person whose life was inspirational for everyone in the family. He guided us and told us one thing that no-one told us. I was very attached to him. He used to call us on our landline but I was the one who received his calls most of the times. He used to ask me why I received calls every time, didn't I have anything to study?

I was in the first year of college at that time. I went home after the end semester exams. It was December 2013. Mommy told me that Mama-Ji's health had not been good for the last 20 days. Doctors told us that he was suffering from thyroid cancer. Mommy used to talk to him every day or on alternate days. That evening mommy received a call on the landline. I asked who was on the line? She told me that Mama-Ji was there on the other side. I asked her, "How is he now"? She asked me to wait. I went outside and told her that I'm going to a friend's house. At the same time when I left home, Mama-Ji asked mommy to get me to the phone. Mommy called me to see if I was there, but I was already in the next street. So she told him she'll call later when I'll return. Mommy told me this later during dinner. 

I asked her to call. She said 'He must have slept. I'll call him tomorrow and you can talk to him then.' Next day I forgot about it. The very next day I asked mommy to call him. She said that she was busy so she asked me to ping her about it in the evening. Both of us forgot again. After two days I reminded her again but she was busy. She used to call and talk to him every day but I was never home at that time. Later we both forgot that Mama-Ji wanted to talk to me. After some days I returned to college.

I went home again in April. I was expecting my aunt at home because Papa, Mommy and Uncle go to school and my aunt is a homemaker, but no one was there. I asked the shopkeeper, who had a shop next to our home, if he had the keys. He used to take water every morning. He gave me the keys. I asked him why no one was at home? He told me the my Mama-Ji is no more. He had passed away on 6th of April, so mommy and aunt are there. I was shocked. I thought I was not an emotional person, but I was. This incident made me realise what I was. 

I was thinking about the moments I had spent with him. I remembered that he wanted to talk to me in December, and we hadn't talked since. Last time we had a conversation was in July 2013. I don't know what he wanted to ask or what he wanted to tell me. I asked Mami-Ji (His wife) if he told her anything to tell me. But she didn't know. My question was unanswered. No one was there who could answer it. I still regret forgetting about his wish to talk to me. That is why now I don't miss a chance to talk to anyone.  No one knows what future has in for us.

Here is a pic of him with his grandson and my nephew Krishna.