Fortress

Masan was the first movie they saw together. Then they decided to visit Kashi someday. After visiting all the temples in this magical city, they fell in love with this. They would go to a place, stay there for a few hours to absorb the vibes of the place and go to next. Now the only place that was left was Ghats for which Banaras is known.

Something changed in them after visiting that place, especially Shivanshu. He could see all his vulnerabilities through his eyes and was having anxiety now. They spent more time in Ghats compared to spending in other places. Vulnerabilities are valuable. We realize that very late. A vulnerability has a cost attached to it. Each time you are exposed your value reduces so one has to be careful about that. Perhaps there is nothing more valuable than life for us. We realize its true value when we see death for the first time. That is what happened with them in Kashi Ghats. Now Kashi was the keyword for them. Anyone can ask to meet in Kashi but another one will decide the dates.

Shivahshu had written something for Vidhya and he considered it important so he decided to give it to her on the day they were in the Ghats. But the moments at the Ghats were of more intensity than they had expected them to be. Watching the bodies being cremated realized how vulnerable they were and how short life was and everything would vanish in seconds.

Shivanshu looked at Vidhya while she was staring into the fire on the pyre far away. He moved his hand towards the inner pocket of his jacket and checked if it was there. “Vidhs, listen …”

“ha ..” Vidhya replied without moving her eyes away from the pyre.

“Look,” Shivanshu said while extending his hand towards her that had a yellow envelope containing the letter he wrote for her.

“What is this ?” asked Vidhya.

“Take it first. and then I’ll tell you.” Vidhya took the envelope from him and then Shivanshu continued. “Look this contains something very precious to me and I wanted to convey this to you. But I am not sure if this is the right moment so open it when you think is the right moment.”

“.. but what is inside?” Vidhya asked curiously.

“You’ll know, just wait for the right time. In the end, there is a question that you have to answer when you read it. So wait for the right moment.” Shivanshu said seriously.

Vidhya put the envelope inside her bag and again started to look towards the cremation ground and lost in thoughts. Shivanshu was expecting nothing less.

They sat there for more than an hour and then Shivanshu asked if they should leave. They left but the place left a mark in their memories.

Vidhya didn’t open the letter for more than 2 years. They were together but she still didn’t open it as she never felt that she should open it. She kept it with all the birthday cards she had received over the years. She loved to make cards so much that she would often make some for herself and would go through them on bad days.

Today was one such day that she would call bad. She and her manager had a confrontation and she was sad about the same because she was not wrong. Though she had developed some temperament over the last few years that was not a part of her in miles before she entered into the job. She was cool minded and chill person who was happy and was spreading the same and was focused towards her goals. But things changed over the few years. She didn’t know what it was but something was missing and she didn’t have time to figure it out. Shivanshu tried to ask her but she got angry, twice, so he didn’t ask again as he couldn’t take the risk to lose this bond as he knew this was the only thread he could hang on.

Vidhya was going through letters one by one, and then the yellow envelope came. All memories of the day when Shivanshu gave her flashed before her. She picked up her phone and searched for Shivanshu to call him. She stared at the contact number and instead of calling him she put her phone aside and opened the envelope.

The letter started with “Hi Vidhs ” and had small memories they had in their friendship that were again nostalgic for her. The letter ended with a proposal for marriage, how he trying to be a good person and with doubt that Shivanshu had about why would Vidhya marry him. At first, she thought it could be a prank because no one in the world would believe that Shivanshu can say even a word of it.

Vidhya picked up her phone and called Shivanshu. He picked up the first ring and it looked like he was just waiting for the call. “Kashi,” she said as he picked up the call.

Shivanshu did not say a word and was not expecting this. He checked the calendar and checked for the dates. “would the 26th of this month work for you?” Shivanshu asked.

“Fine. It would be an extended weekend. So I’m good with this.”

It was decided they would reach the Ghats and will go places from there.

When Vidhya reached the Ghats, Shivanshu was already there. They looked at each other, hugged and sat on the bench where Shivanshu was sitting. Vidhya was calm like the river Ganga flowing in front of them but Shivanshu had hurricanes in him. First, he had no idea why Vidhya called for Kashi as things were good between them. Though he had not told her about the existential crisis he was feeling Vidhya always sense such things over a call. Second, he was afraid that Vidhya might sense this and something bad might happen. He was thinking all the worse he could think of. Third, he wanted to ask if Vidhya is ready to marry him as he wanted to settle in life and couldn’t handle more uncertainties in his life. He needed a hand to hold on.

“How are you holding up?” Shivanshu asked as Vidhya called for Kashi this time so he thought it would be best to ask if everything is good on her side.

“I’m doing good. Though recently there were some ups and downs recently all good and under control now.” Vidhya replied with a smile and started to look back at the river. Sun was about to set to view on that side was good and Shivanshu was also looking at the same.

“You could have told me. I could have been of some use.” Shivanshu hesitantly asked.

“You had a lot on your plate so I didn’t want to cause you trouble.”

“Everything’s good on my side.”

“Stop lying Shivanshu, I know you more than you do. How are you now ?”

“I am good.”

They both started to look at the river for some time. People were moving and even the sun was about to set and was crimson red now which could be seen with the naked eye.

“Do you remember I gave you an envelope a few years back?” Shivanshu asked again with little hesitation. Though Vidhya could sense some kind of desperation in that.

“Oh that, I do.” Vidhya opened her bag and gave the envelope to Shivanshu. “You asked me to post it to you but I thought it would be best to give it in person and that is why I called for Kashi.”

Shivanshu was out of words and his fear was true. He took the envelope. He knew it was the same envelope that He gave her. He took out the paper inside. To his surprise there were two papers in it, pale yellow must be the one he gave to her but another new white paper was there and there was something written on it.

I am giving this to you in person as I want to be with you when you read it. You asked me to marry but you had a question why would I even do that? That question of yours is right. I thought about it carefully for a long enough and tried to figure out what I even liked about us? I love us being together and I don’t want to lose good while searching for better. I want to settle with goodness I have around and You know what? I like to stay in your presence. I don’t want to have a fancy life. I just want to have a family. I am tired of chasing meaningless things I thought I wanted. I just want to grow old with you peacefully. I just want you to make a fortress around me as you do with your hands when I hug you. I feel safe with you and within the fortress, you make around m

Vidhya was looking at him constantly while Shivanshu started looking downwards. He was sobbing. His eyes were full of tears and he couldn’t even look land beneath him clearly. So he closed his eyes, tightly as he could so all tears falls down. When he opened his eyes and looked upwards Vidhya was on her knees.

“Marry me Shivanshu”, Vidhya said and he made the fortress around her right then and there.