अन्तर्मुख

“Why are you obsessed with death?” “No, I am not.” “Well, you are. Because you are not afraid to talk about it.” “Yes, that’s right. I know I am going to die, and so are you. No matter how much I love you, I know you are going to die. Also, It’s symbolic as well, and not actual always.” “What do you mean by symbolic and actual?” “People die actually, and people die symbolically. You’ve not yet thought about how one can die symbolically. That’s all, but now this thought is not going to leave your mind.” “Stop it, please. Why talk about it, even if this is going to happen.” “Not talking about it also not going to stop it. Being immortal is the worst thing that can happen to us.” “I wouldn’t say so.. but still stop. I don’t want to talk now.” .. and then I stopped with a smile, knowing the person was going to die, either before me or after me. Things I did, Things we, in general, do in love will hold no meaning after some time, this is death. Death is not just limited to the hum...

As a kid many a time you must have encountered the question where do you want to go? Heaven or Hell. To me, the very first time this question arose in my classroom and almost everyone wanted to go to heaven, we chose heaven with much confidence and happiness while imagining it. Though we have a very limited image of it. Later as I grew up, I changed my answer to “Hell” as none of my friends would go to heaven. My friends were still asking for heaven but I was damn sure that they will end up in hell, so I can wait for them there if I get to go first. Like I said, we had a very confined image of heaven as a kid. Though we still have no idea what it looks like. While writing this I recalled a story. A primary school teacher asked her students to draw the image of God. After some time, the teacher visited every table in the class just to check what they are drawing. Every student was drawing kind of god as they have seen on the TV or in posters at home or anywhere else. But one student h...

From the beginning when I was in school, I always had lesser friends, and this is something someone told me a week ago. Then I realised I was trying to fit in the wrong mould. I was somewhat introvert from the beginning and some extrovert people sold me that extroverts are the best people around the world, and I was fool enough to buy that. Being what I am, after getting into my comfort zone I had a lot of time from the people around. When I started discovering things, I was amazed to know how good it feels when you spend time just for yourself and no one interrupts you. You can just watch a movie. I enjoyed being alone so much that I almost started avoiding people. Though the time I spent alone, not lonely, had taught me a lot. I still don’t know what I can do, but sure as hell know what I cannot do. I know I over-think; I could not decide between two, but now I can; I lost some great friends so I know that we should respond instead of reacting; and many more. One of the things I m...