Why Not Her?

From the beginning when I was in school, I always had lesser friends, and this is something someone told me a week ago. Then I realised I was trying to fit in the wrong mould. I was somewhat introvert from the beginning and some extrovert people sold me that extroverts are the best people around the world, and I was fool enough to buy that.

Being what I am, after getting into my comfort zone I had a lot of time from the people around. When I started discovering things, I was amazed to know how good it feels when you spend time just for yourself and no one interrupts you. You can just watch a movie. I enjoyed being alone so much that I almost started avoiding people.

Though the time I spent alone, not lonely, had taught me a lot. I still don’t know what I can do, but sure as hell know what I cannot do. I know I over-think; I could not decide between two, but now I can; I lost some great friends so I know that we should respond instead of reacting; and many more.

One of the things I mentioned is, I am not good choosing one out of many. Many other people also may have this issue of choosing what to order while in a restaurant or even which restaurant shall the gang go when there are multiple choices. In the case of a restaurant, eating, dress, perfumes and in many more cases these choices are conventional and may not affect you for a longer time. What if the results are meant to last longer? How do you choose then?

Now how I do it is not pioneered by myself. You must have heard about it and may have left it because It did not seem important to you. But I over-think, and over-thinking sometimes takes you to the street which is closed on the other end. You are stuck there and you cannot do much about anything.

I have been watching stand-up comedy videos lately. Whenever stand-up comics interact with the audience and if a guy and a girl are sitting in the front row, they usually ask if they are a couple. So In a similar type of video, a guy asked a couple if they are a couple they said they were engaged. Later the comic asked the girl what did she like in him? She made up something.

So what did you like in her/him? What can be the best possible answer to this, that’s what has been going in mind lately. I over-thought and thought. Still, I was not able to get to the point where I wanted to be. So instead of choosing, I started rejecting.

This what I used to do earlier. When there are multiple options and I am not able to choose one, I rejected others, whatever left I went with that. Though sometimes things are close, the case is sensitive. In that case, I had to compare the consequences of both the decisions, whichever I can bear, I choose.

That lady replied when asked about what she liked in the guy, “He is loyal.” The comic made fun out of it too. But the thing is you can not name a single quality only one person in the world has. For example, You can find millions of loyal guys like him, you can find millions of smart guys like him, maybe smarter than him. You can always find someone more intelligent, calm, cool, quick wit, good sense of humour, sarcastic, wealthy or any other quality that you can think of.

When in the world of billion people you can find someone better always, the question arises when and where to stop. For example, about a month ago, I had an argument with a friend, I scolded him. During the argument, another person was there. Later my friend said you scolded me because I don’t earn and the other guy earns 2 lacs a month.

Though that was a stupid thing to say. But like I told you, I over-think, I thought what if this was true. I thought who would be my friends if I just go best of everything there is. Like most intelligent, most bright future or who’s earning most. I will mention them.

• I would have Surag Nair my closest friend, who is pursuing a PhD from Standford university.
• I would have Sagar Rana, who was my classmate and my neighbour in the hostel for three years, and IPS now.
• I will have Vipul Goyal in my friend list who is pursuing his PhD from the University of Central Florida and was my school senior and my neighbour in my hometown.
• I will have Praveen, my college roommate. He is a friend everyone needs.
• I will have Shreya Singh in friend list, who is also pursuing her MS from the University of Florida, truly “beauty with the brain”.
• I will have Prithvee Raj Chauhan, Vijay Singh, Tanmay Chhimpa and Nittin Narayan who have got the best approach to almost anything there is around the world.
• I will have Brijraj Rautella in my friend who writes too good and I don’t have words to praise him.
• I will have Vipul Mathur in my friend list, who is an amazing artist and more amazing human being.
• I will have Manisha Jagga and Parul ma’am (I don’t know your surname) in my friend list who was the most humble person I met in college.
• I will have Tushti Bhatia in my friend list who started her first publication (Author Paradise) at the age of 19, and now at 24, she started another, Flipping Pages.
• And, my brother Ayush who was a better cricket player than I can ever be (and better at almost everything that matters).

That many people and introvert, I began with “what if I was friend with..”. But the truth is I am not regularly in touch with any of them. We may talk once a year, or not even once in two years, but I will always admire them, always. These people are not best out there in the world but to me they are, and yeah I can meet better people if I stay with them. They may also admire someone as I admire them. But I know this hunger of meeting someone better will never end. So I will have to keep learning something which will help me to get better every day. I was worse earlier, getting lesser worse and one day I will be somewhat better than I am today.

Now I will come back to the point where I was, how to reject. So the thing is that everyone out there is a pain in the ass. But you just have to find someone worth suffering for. Because you will never meet a better guy than yourself. That lady who said “Loyalty”; said it because she had to respond quickly. But you don’t have to.

Later I thought about what would I want in the girl. If I meet someone or my parents introduce me to someone how will I accept or reject someone? After thinking a lot, Instead of asking “Why her?”, I asked, “Why not her?”. That is where the answer lies.

When I asked, “Why him/her?” I had this in mind; He/She may not fair in colour, how does that matter, there are million who has more fair colour than him/her. He/She may not be intelligent, still, there are millions out there who are more intelligent than him/her. He/She may not be earning enough, still, some other boys/girls are earning more than him/her. Many more question and still the answer is the same.

Now I asked, “Why not her?”; Believe me, I couldn’t ask anything. If you can. Just let me. Rest you know, I over-think. I will find something to think of.

Until then, think; Why not her, when I can bow to her in admiration?