अन्तर्मुख

As a kid many a time you must have encountered the question where do you want to go? Heaven or Hell. To me, the very first time this question arose in my classroom and almost everyone wanted to go to heaven, we chose heaven with much confidence and happiness while imagining it. Though we have a very limited image of it. Later as I grew up, I changed my answer to “Hell” as none of my friends would go to heaven. My friends were still asking for heaven but I was damn sure that they will end up in hell, so I can wait for them there if I get to go first. Like I said, we had a very confined image of heaven as a kid. Though we still have no idea what it looks like. While writing this I recalled a story. A primary school teacher asked her students to draw the image of God. After some time, the teacher visited every table in the class just to check what they are drawing. Every student was drawing kind of god as they have seen on the TV or in posters at home or anywhere else. But one student h...

From the beginning when I was in school, I always had lesser friends, and this is something someone told me a week ago. Then I realised I was trying to fit in the wrong mould. I was somewhat introvert from the beginning and some extrovert people sold me that extroverts are the best people around the world, and I was fool enough to buy that. Being what I am, after getting into my comfort zone I had a lot of time from the people around. When I started discovering things, I was amazed to know how good it feels when you spend time just for yourself and no one interrupts you. You can just watch a movie. I enjoyed being alone so much that I almost started avoiding people. Though the time I spent alone, not lonely, had taught me a lot. I still don’t know what I can do, but sure as hell know what I cannot do. I know I over-think; I could not decide between two, but now I can; I lost some great friends so I know that we should respond instead of reacting; and many more. One of the things I m...

Hey Dad How are you I’m good I wish you’re good too. I’m far Not at home Want to flow Not happy But I won’t show. I’m afraid So much to learn You did great Now it’s my turn. Trying hard, Don’t know the end Even in the worse time I’ll not bend. I’ll get things done I will not lose As mommy said Like father like son. You are great I’m a proud son Shooting at aim Ready with my gun. Held my position Ready to shoot In a cowboy dress With a pair of boots. Wind is fast But it wouldn’t last May distract me little But I’m not that brittle. I’ll make you proud I have no doubt I may be good at none But I’ll be a good son. Thanks for protection World is too bad Lucky to have you I love you Dad.

Going through my Facebook feed and Whatsapp status’ I thought if any of the people who has posted father’s day status for their father, has really wished their father on call or message. I have never wished my father on father’s day. First time I did was last year, and he replied “God bless you”, which was obviously an unexpected reply. Generally, kids are not open to their father when it comes to having a casual conversation. I was the same until I was encountered a poem Father to Son written by Elizabeth Jennings. Mr Rajendra Mahe was my English teacher at that time. He used to discuss every story and its practical significance with the whole class and students also used to give equal inputs in the efforts made by the Mahe sir. The day he discussed this poetry in the class, he said that father and son don’t talk much as the son grows. I argued that it can’t be true in all cases. He said it is a universal truth. It struck me. The first thing I did after going home that day was I a...

Like a lone wolf dies, But a pack of wolf survives, In a cold dark forest, Any individual may lost. Striving to survive, And frightened to die. Alone in that forest, I too was lost, And yeah, loving you costs. In the cruel cold hearted jungle, Trying to be good and humble. But you’re far away, Here I am alone, When i took knife in heart, You were gone. Though I still love you, And loved you the most, But yeah, loving you, costs. You knew what I’ve been through, You knew all of it was true. All I asked for a shoulder to cry, But you didn’t even wanted to try. Trusted you, was it a mistske ? Gave you chances, but you didn’t take. Sitting in a corner, alone, Still loving you, but you’re gone. Deep down in your love, I’m still lost, And yeah, loving you, costs. Had panic attacks everyday, Loved you too much bae. May be more than you deserve, But that was all i could serve. Gave you everything i had, But you thought i was ...

चिंताएं इतनी है कि गिनती अभी जारी है कुछ तो बात है क्योंकि आज दिल कुछ भारी है । अभी दस दिन हुए पुलवामा को ज्ञानी बहुत कुछ कह गए हिम्मतवाले जो भी थे वो भी चुप अब रह गए सभी समझदार नहीं यहां पर गधों से भी लड़ाई जारी है इतना सब कुछ हो गया इसीलिए आज दिल भारी है । जवान ही तो मरा है ऐसी बातें क्यूं करते तुम अगर ना होते वो सीमा पर तो कुत्ते कि मौत मरते तुम उनकी नहीं, ये पता है अपनी जान ही बस प्यारी है सब कुछ लुटा दिया उन्होंने इसीलिए आज दिल भारी है । बड़े सुकून से जो जीते हो महंगी मदिरा भी तुम पीते हो आज भी जो रोटी खाई है उसकी जान की कीमत पर आयी है पर तुमको क्या अड़ी है बस अपनी ही जो पड़ी है क्या सच ही तुझे ये धरती प्यारी है ? यही सोचकर आज दिल भारी है । ये सब देखकर भी शांत है कब तू कुछ बोलेगा कैसे जी रहा इतना होने पर भी कब तेरा खून खौलेगा अब देर ना कर, उठ मेरे यार देश को जरूरत है, कर इसे प्यार कितनी जरूरी तेरी यारी है यही बताने को आज दिल भारी है ।

Keep it light.. It’s heavy But we’ll fight It’s a string of emotion We’ll take required caution So you don’t worry You’ll not be sorry Stay with me I’ll hold your hand Just keep it light Together we’ll fight. Keep it light whatever may come I’ll protect you Even if it cost wholesome When I’m weak When I’m in need Just stay with me Take emotions to feed If things go wrong Wait for second Hold me, I’ll hold you Until it comes to end. If it goes wrong Keep it light Together we’ll fight. Keep it light If world’s against us We’ll stand strong To prove them wrong Take some steps On the path we chose No matter what happens Always, Stay close Stay with me Till we die Help me to get ready With suit and a bow tie Then keep it light Together we’ll fight. Keep it light When we are old Alone in our blankets In the shivering cold We may talk less We may walk les...

“Is it fun for you? You don’t understand the value of the occasion/event. This cannot be expected from a person with responsibility and that too of your age. …..” Prof said. It was the year 2015, a day before Republic Day. I was in college and my team was at A-Block of the college for inductions for Republic day performance. A Professor from Mechanical Engineering, who used to play badminton with us (or we used to play with him) was the judge for the inductions. While he was watching the performances, suddenly somebody did something wrong, I don’t know what he did, but Prof scolded him. I was outside the hall and was waiting for my team’s turn. I listened to it. That was the first time I had seen that particular Prof scolded someone. He was quite friendly with students. This is why his words “You don’t understand the value of the occasion …” stuck to my ears. At the moment I thought, Yes I do know why we celebrate this day but Do I really know It’s value? That was answered m...