अन्तर्मुख

“Love fills up the void in your life, that’s what people say. But no, it creates a void,” he thought while sitting on chairs, waiting for boarding for his flight to begin. These days flights often get delayed, all credit to the weather in Delhi, but it will be well in Mumbai. “Maybe you had the void already in your life, but it was not in focus. Now, love brings it forward, and you can’t focus anywhere else. I knew I was right,” he thought, with a Duchenne smile on his face. But then the air hostess announced that they had started the boarding. He was in business class, thus got to go in first, with bigger legroom and ample space to write during the flight. Also, you get some other perks by being a senior citizen. He walked slowly, one step at a time, with a slight inclination left and right with each step. Staff helped him with his baggage, and he boarded. “Hah… weather is good here,” he thought after landing in Mumbai. A person holding a placard with his name, Ved, approached him....

“Why are you obsessed with death?” “No, I am not.” “Well, you are. Because you are not afraid to talk about it.” “Yes, that’s right. I know I am going to die, and so are you. No matter how much I love you, I know you are going to die. Also, It’s symbolic as well, and not actual always.” “What do you mean by symbolic and actual?” “People die actually, and people die symbolically. You’ve not yet thought about how one can die symbolically. That’s all, but now this thought is not going to leave your mind.” “Stop it, please. Why talk about it, even if this is going to happen.” “Not talking about it also not going to stop it. Being immortal is the worst thing that can happen to us.” “I wouldn’t say so.. but still stop. I don’t want to talk now.” .. and then I stopped with a smile, knowing the person was going to die, either before me or after me. Things I did, Things we, in general, do in love will hold no meaning after some time, this is death. Death is not just limited to the hum...

Hey, how are you, how you doing ? need a shoulder, people are booing ? don’t worry they’ll go silent you just don’t get violent its been a while since you’re bearing load, go take rest, oh god. keep calm, it might take some time its life always out of rhyme why try so hard be a bard its been a while since you changed gears go shed some tears. so whats happening you don’t know things are out of way, don’t cry, listen hey! you’ve just missed the focus you’ll find the exact locus its been a while you pushed to keep going just try a bit slowing. what to watch what to do its heavy to carry just don’t worry its been a while since you’re carrying the wagon, go slay the dragon. nothing seems to be working you fail you lose don’t know how much to try you did best, you tried its been a while since you cried go cry. tried everything lost to life you are right its a hard fight and everyone cheated, everyone lied its been a while since a part of you died sacrifice it, let it die.

Years ago I bought a seed Invested in that watered to feed. While growing I took care He grew good As investment was fair. Making his own food For a greater good Raised a joyful chant Now he was a plant. I sat near him We used to talk As he was a plant He couldn’t walk. One day he grew up He became a tree Both of us were busy No one was free. Whenever we crossed path Now a days it was hard to talk I used to waive my hand He moved branches and bend. We were far Not on talking terms Growing together, we had Some knots and burns. I took good care I did not lack He gave me fruits Just to pay me back. He was a big tree now Took a lot of space to spread I also protected him from Those who were a threat. I don’t know how but One day it changed its colour He thought he was a phenom But his trunk got venom. He was glad As he looked different Unaware that he got poisoned And others weren’t. Colour had some shine Though he looked fine He reacted as wi...

As a kid many a time you must have encountered the question where do you want to go? Heaven or Hell. To me, the very first time this question arose in my classroom and almost everyone wanted to go to heaven, we chose heaven with much confidence and happiness while imagining it. Though we have a very limited image of it. Later as I grew up, I changed my answer to “Hell” as none of my friends would go to heaven. My friends were still asking for heaven but I was damn sure that they will end up in hell, so I can wait for them there if I get to go first. Like I said, we had a very confined image of heaven as a kid. Though we still have no idea what it looks like. While writing this I recalled a story. A primary school teacher asked her students to draw the image of God. After some time, the teacher visited every table in the class just to check what they are drawing. Every student was drawing kind of god as they have seen on the TV or in posters at home or anywhere else. But one student h...

From the beginning when I was in school, I always had lesser friends, and this is something someone told me a week ago. Then I realised I was trying to fit in the wrong mould. I was somewhat introvert from the beginning and some extrovert people sold me that extroverts are the best people around the world, and I was fool enough to buy that. Being what I am, after getting into my comfort zone I had a lot of time from the people around. When I started discovering things, I was amazed to know how good it feels when you spend time just for yourself and no one interrupts you. You can just watch a movie. I enjoyed being alone so much that I almost started avoiding people. Though the time I spent alone, not lonely, had taught me a lot. I still don’t know what I can do, but sure as hell know what I cannot do. I know I over-think; I could not decide between two, but now I can; I lost some great friends so I know that we should respond instead of reacting; and many more. One of the things I m...

Hey Dad How are you I’m good I wish you’re good too. I’m far Not at home Want to flow Not happy But I won’t show. I’m afraid So much to learn You did great Now it’s my turn. Trying hard, Don’t know the end Even in the worse time I’ll not bend. I’ll get things done I will not lose As mommy said Like father like son. You are great I’m a proud son Shooting at aim Ready with my gun. Held my position Ready to shoot In a cowboy dress With a pair of boots. Wind is fast But it wouldn’t last May distract me little But I’m not that brittle. I’ll make you proud I have no doubt I may be good at none But I’ll be a good son. Thanks for protection World is too bad Lucky to have you I love you Dad.

Going through my Facebook feed and Whatsapp status’ I thought if any of the people who has posted father’s day status for their father, has really wished their father on call or message. I have never wished my father on father’s day. First time I did was last year, and he replied “God bless you”, which was obviously an unexpected reply. Generally, kids are not open to their father when it comes to having a casual conversation. I was the same until I was encountered a poem Father to Son written by Elizabeth Jennings. Mr Rajendra Mahe was my English teacher at that time. He used to discuss every story and its practical significance with the whole class and students also used to give equal inputs in the efforts made by the Mahe sir. The day he discussed this poetry in the class, he said that father and son don’t talk much as the son grows. I argued that it can’t be true in all cases. He said it is a universal truth. It struck me. The first thing I did after going home that day was I a...